Letting go of someone can be so very difficult, even if the situation has become toxic.
I have been trying to figure out why this is and I think, that in my case, it is just because I refuse to believe that all my effort was for nothing, that it was a waste of time. I guess sometimes I’d rather keep struggling, just to ignore the fact that it was a mistake. I just keep trying to turn things around somehow, to change them for the better, to make someone show me they care for me, just like I show them that I care. This is just destructive, subconscious behavior. But I guess that living the illusion is just better than the cold, hard truth. I really hate making mistakes or misjudging people and I guess that really messes some things up in my life.
Some people and some situations just never change, so I need to let them go. I am now finding some aid within Mindfulness exercises, because they let me reflect better on how I feel and what I really want in life. Sometimes, when I lose myself in my thoughts for a longer period of time, I can really forget to reflect on how I am feeling in a certain situation and the effect it has on my life. Often because I am only focusing on ways to fix the situation.
So I am now working on recognizing toxic situations sooner, through Mindfulness exercises, so I can let it go a bit faster and move on to better things in life. I also reflect upon my errors, see if I can learn from them and then just put them behind me, because they then do not longer serve me in life. Life is just too short and way too precious to keep repeating the same defective cycles over and over again. I am sometimes still amazed on how much insight the simple practice of Mindfulness gives me and very thankful that I came across it. For everyone dealing with a difficult situation in life, try this simple Mindfulness aid. Just stop, be aware and reflect with better clarity!